How would you complete the following sentence?

I want a life that feels...

I ask this because your answer can provide a powerful tool — a filter through which to make great decisions.

The Decision Filter

A decision filter, in this context, is a statement that describes an important, big picture goal.

Think of it like a filter that holds onto the good stuff. I imagine it like a screen that holds onto gold while filtering out sand and debris.

When making a decision, ask yourself if the decision supports this important goal. If it does, hold onto it. If it doesn’t, let it go.

Let’s go back to the statement above, which makes a great decision filter:

I want a life that feels… [insert your answer here].

When faced with a choice, ask yourself if it supports the statement above.

Why does feeling matter?

Notice that the decision filter says a life that FEELS… This is because feelings are far more likely to affect behavior than rational thought. As Dr. Jill Bolte Taylor (neuroanatomist) put it:

“Although many of us may think of ourselves as thinking creatures that feel, biologically we are feeling creatures that think.”

We can use this to our advantage by describing what we want in terms of the feeling it will give us.

An Example

Here's my own example: I want a life that feels simplified, unrushed, and healthy.

When I make choices that support this, I feel better, which motivates me to keep doing it.

When I don’t, life starts to feel like it once did — like a cluttered, over-complicated, chaotic, unhealthy mess (something I want to avoid).

When you’re clear on what you want, knowing what to do becomes much easier.

So in my case, what do I do when I'm asked to participate in a project that will require a lot of time and energy?

Well, if it's not a cause I feel strongly about, and if I'm not willing to give something up in its place (because anything I take on will take my attention away from something else), the answer is NO.

It passes through the filter, and I don’t hang onto it, because this activity will take me away from a life that feels simplified, unrushed, and healthy.

On the other hand, what does the filter catch? (What do I hang onto?) Things like:

• Systems that simplify and streamline everyday tasks.

• Practices that clear the excess/unnecessary stuff that easily accumulate (both material items and time commitments).

• Making time in my schedule for healthy activities like physical activity, food prep, family time, and rest.

These activities bring me toward a life that feels simplified, unrushed, and healthy.

See how handy this is? Decisions become easy. You catch the gold (the things that will lead you to the life you want) and discard the sand and debris (the clutter and distractions that will get you off-track).

A Note on FOMO

I should warn you that there’s a sneaky villain that will try to get you to hold onto sand and debris. That villain is FOMO (fear of missing out).

It’s human nature to want to:

• Take advantage of opportunities that arise.

• Not be on the “outside” of the action.

• Compare ourselves to others.

In other words, FOMO is normal. But it’s important to understand that FOMO is a huge culprit when it comes to staying “stuck” and not making progress toward your most important goals in life.

When we aren’t selective in what deserves our time and attention, we find ourselves preoccupied with lots of things, yet getting nowhere.

As Greg McKeown put it in his fabulous book Essentialism: The Disciplined Pursuit of Less, it’s important to discern "the vital few from the trivial many." Instead of making "a millimeter of progress in a million directions," the goal is make "significant progress in the things that matter most."

How about you?

What kind of life do you want to experience?

A life that feels… [insert your answer here].

How might your answer provide a handy filter that clarifies good decisions and helps you achieve your most important goals?

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This post was originally published on 1/4/21.